But perhaps they at least shared one conviction — that what you were made as wasn’t what you had to be or what you might become…
And the trick was to start small.
The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer
I want a fairy tale. I really do. I wish that I could have a happy ending…a loving biological family, all of the wrongs and hurts of the past erased and magically made better, with an ending that they all lived happily ever after.
But, reality bites. This is real life. And I cannot control or really influence the all. I can only choose my own course.
Unfortunately, this might take more courage than I feel like I have at the moment. But the key is to start small. Stop letting other people influence my opinion of me and allowing them to get me down.
I cannot control or change how my family acts and behaves. I can change how I react to it. It will just take some courage. It will be a battle, a furious and angry one at times. After all, it is a rather strong need to belong…to feel accepted by one’s family, a biological and sociological survival instinct.
But this instinct is not helping me at the moment. I am in a dangerous situation with my family. And while it is not their fault, while I do understand why things happened the way they did. It does not make the situation less dangerous or more acceptable.
If anyone else came to me and asked my advice as to what they should do in my situation, I would tell them to cut ties as much as possible. Get out of the boiling water before they are scarred for life.
So, that is what I am going to do. It will not be easy. I am going to figure out what behaviour is acceptable towards me and what is not…and it seems bizarre that I do not know what behaviour I will accept from my family, but this is real life, not a story and definitely not black and white.
I am not going to let my family stand in the way of my happiness. I need to make my own fairy tale, and while I may have huge issues with my biological family, I have amazing in laws (who are happy that I am coming back 😉 ) and wonderful friends, and a fantastic husband.
And perhaps while it is not possible to have a happily ever after, it is possible to live happily.