Why I don’t want to forget

I do not want to forget the abuse that I l have lived through because it is one of the things that shaped who I am.

It is one of the reasons that I able to empathize with the outcasts, the beaten and the down.

It is one of the reasons that I feel deeply. It is one of the reasons that I believe in kindness.

I do not want to forget because having experienced abuse is one of the things that made me who I am today.

I don’t believe that we would have been given the ability to feel emotions if they are sinful and contrary to our nature.

I don’t believe that we are given things to experience unless they aid in our growth.

I don’t believe that the Gods want us to suppress who we are, or what we feel.

I believe that life is for living, and that we should choose to live and feel.

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Sometimes, you don’t know how badly you need to hear something until you hear it

Sometimes I know what I am going to write about here and other times not. Today I thought I was going to write about a painful memory involving my sister that has recently resurfaced but it seemed that the universe had other plans. I opened my email to find this message this morning:

Let me tell you something about YOU.

YOU can do anything you want. YOU are
in control.

YOU can achieve as much success as you
want to.

YOU can and will pick yourself up when
life knocks you down.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

Thant’s all I wanted to say,

Frank

The universe sent me the exact message that I needed to hear. Because it is something that I am working on believing in myself. Due to the circumstances of my upbringing I never had a close relationship with anyone who was my cheerleader: belief, support and love were conditional.

But I realize now that the belief that people supporting you, believing in you, loving you are conditional is completely false. Unfortunately, it takes more than a little bit of cognitive dissonance to move beyond it. However I am consciously working on it, believing in me, and believing in other people.

Believing in picking myself up. Believing in not being defined by the fact that I was abused as a child.

Believing in the fact that the world is a beautiful and exciting place and that people are good and kind, even though they sometimes do bad things.

These beliefs are getting stronger each day and so am I.

So, thank you Mr. Kern for sending me the message that I needed to hear today.