Insomnia

Insomnia sucks. As a general rule I don’t have trouble sleeping. I rarely struggle to stay awake…if anything I sleep more than I should. But, sometimes around 4 am I just can’t sleep.

I wake anxious. There is no reason for my anxiety.

I start worrying about the most random things. I berate myself for all the things that I have not done. All the things I could have done. I should have done. I would have done. It’s pointless and most of what I berate myself for is irrational.

I get angry about the little bits of things that I have not done. I replay phone conversations with customer service representatives in my head.

It’s ridiculous.

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2 thoughts on “Insomnia

  1. To be honest, I have to admit that I’m slightly envious. Insomnia and I are inextricably linked 😦 On a good night, I’m looking at two senseless hours with which to do nothing to but lie and think. Each night, I have my two, or more, hours of pointless berating, running through various scenarios, and other inane acts, but the majority of my time is taken up by fantasizing, and this I love.

    Imagining how past situations may have turned out different and how future situations may turn out. Mostly, these are beyond belief, but it’s nice to have some time to let your mind totally wander.

    I do think that anxiety has a place firmly in the early morning hours. My bad insomnia hits about once every 6 months and entails two weeks of about an hour’s sleep each night. It’s enough to drive you around the bend. You do start going a little ‘fight-club’ on people, but it’s the early morning hours, then, that you start to get that pointless anxiety. I hate it. It settles in and niggles, regardless of how stupid your logical mind says it is…

    I hope you managed to get back to sleep, but considering the time of hour this came into my inbox, I’m doubting it 😐

  2. Shame dude, I feel for you…I only have recently had problems with insomnia and I have nothing but compassion for those who are regular sufferers.

    Fantasizing is amazing fun, although sometimes my mind then uses these scenarios as proof of failure. Damn brain.

    Hope you have a great afternoon.

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