Random Ramblings Number 1

There are so many memories…so many little things, that I associate with mom. My 9/11 story is tied to my mom. We heard about the attacks on the radio and then we switched on the television and watched the news together on the other side of the world. Watched  tragedy unfold.

It’s difficult right now. It’s at a point where I am sensing people wanting me and my family to just move on…be healed already. Re-integrate into society, stop hurting…just carry on with our lives. But I don’t think we are ready yet. Our loss is still fresh, less than six weeks old.

I think it is a complete myth that you ever heal from this kind of loss, you adapt. But I don’t think that this is an event that you ever truly heal from.

I admit that I wrote an angry post yesterday. But it was cathartic. I felt much better for admitting that I have those questions. I know I will never hear the answers, but the purpose of asking questions is not always to get answers, sometimes it is just part of adapting.

The truth is if my mom was alive, I doubt I would ask those questions. We did not have that kind of relationship.

I know that my mom and dad taught me to stop and savor my surroundings, especially outdoors in the wild. I learnt to notice birds from my mom.


2 thoughts on “Random Ramblings Number 1

  1. A young New Zealand friend died of a freak accident in 2009.
    Their believe system and dealing with grieve and such are so different from anything else I know, especially the time they say the Spirit and connected family and friends need for this process.
    I don’t quite understand it, but they have another ceremony a year to date of the passing on of the Spirit to the other side… but this is to signal the end of grieve… on both sides, I believe…
    It allows to let the Spirit heal and move on, do their thing, to not be tied to this world unnecessarily and to give the ones left behind the chance to go on with the lives set out for them.
    It celebrated life, love and Spirit…

    It made sense to me… 🙂

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