At the beginning of 2009 my mother called my husband and asked that we come over. And in the conversation she asked “That I forgive her for all that she has done and all that she has failed to do”.
This is a ritualistic formula in the Catholic church when you ask for forgiveness and to which I gave the customary reply of yes I forgive you.
I have been thinking about it a lot lately, my mother did not change her behavior afterwards and did not even acknowledge what she did wrong.
The truth is I don’t think that I will be ever able to make up with my mother, she will never be the mother that I wanted.
She is incapable of loving me…and that realization hurts. How do you deal with a mother incapable of love…and recognize the losses that you endured…the birthday cakes never baked…kindness never given?