Yesterday’s realization bit really hard…I wish that this reality was not real at all. But it is.
And so, I am giving myself permission to grieve for what I did not have, what I do not have, what I wished was.
The greatest gift that I have been able to give myself is permission to be me…to recognize that my nature is not what my family have had me believe it to be.
That I am not a bad person.
So while I am hurting and giving myself permission to hurt and grieve…I am not going to hold it against myself…I am going to let go of this pain.
It is just a painful thing to realize that there are such things to let go of…and I will keep telling myself it is okay to treat myself with the compassion that I would give to someone else experiencing a similar trauma.