I saw a Facebook status:
You’ve got to be stronger than the story
And my internal response was I am working on it. The problem is in a story there are heroes and there are villains. It is a binary situation. Real life is more complicated than that. Or is it? Do people’s circumstances ever really mitigate behaviour? I don’t know.
A day after I wrote this part of the post, I had the thought: To be stronger to than the story you need to own it. I guess that is what I need to work on most about my abuse, figuring out the story and how I am stronger than it. How it is not going to hold me back or stand in my way.
The part of the post that you just read was written on Thursday evening. The rest was written today.
One of the things I did this weekend was a canopy tour. This meant that I was in a situation that involved heights. And I am generally not good with heights. In fact, that is an understatement…I am downright terrible with them.
But as I stood on the platform and made the choice to begin my canopy tour…to be strapped up and slide over the ground. I realized that I can choose not to let the fear hold me back, and that is something new. For years I have believed those who have told me that I am limited by my fears. That I will not be able to overcome them. That they form a cage from which I cannot escape. They are wrong.
I can escape. I can choose to look at my fears. Accept that some of them are rational and others are not. I can choose to get on the platform and experience the adventure. I do not need to hide.