Yesterday was not a good day.
It just wasn’t and today has not been that much better.
And there is no reason for it.
But I think that is something I am beginning to realize…this depression and its episodes are not necessarily tied to specific events or triggers or things.
They are. And it will get better.
And flashbacks are just that flashbacks. They are not reality.
It is not my world any more.
I had a lovely conversation with a dear sweet friend today, who I have been out of touch with for far too long, and in that conversation…I was reminded that I am loved and special…and it was amazing to have that feeling of connection to someone.
I didn’t realise how much I missed that connection.
I am going through an anti social phase, and part of it is fear, and part of it is the fact that I am a natural loner…My head can sometimes seem full enough and busy enough to want to go out.
Once I am out, I usually have a blast…but I am a bit of a homebody.
Another random thought that I had was that I can rediscover old and create new talents and skills…
I have always been labelled as stubborn and determined…and I can draw on those labels (along with a new one that was pinned on me today “ninja”) and use them as a potion to draw strength.
This crash will not last for ever.