Rituals and recovery

I want you to crush my dreams
’cause it’ll mean that I had some
and I want some

~ Kim Boekbinder, Rainbows and Unicorns

One of the craziest things that I am coming to terms with right now is what I want from life…and how to go about getting it.

In some ways depression robs you of your essence…it feels like your soul is getting sucked right out of you…and that nothing that you do will ever get it back.

And all that will be left, will be an empty husk.

But, the truth is, that is a lie. And depression is an incredibly skilled liar…and one that is exhausting.

But there is a powerful anecdote to depressions poisonous lies I have found…and it is in finding small things. Stupid little rituals and habits…one that I am not managing to quite keep up is meditating when I get up…there seems to be lots of little things that get in the way, but I am trying to find ten minutes a day to meditate…to quiten my mind…because even though that doesn’t make me feel better immediately, it does help. I become less sensitive and take things less personally.

Another ritual is the housekeeping and Spanish lesson…and remembering that half of the battle here, is just showing up…and doing my best. Because that is good enough…and little bits of effort add up to tremendous gains.

And writing, this is the 14th consecutive day that I have posted something. It doesn’t matter that the quality of the writing here will never win a Pulitzer.  I have started to do something and I have stuck with it…and that is a win.

Just because a victory is small, does not make it insignificant.

Of course, my next stop is to start figuring out my dreams and working to making them a reality.

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2 thoughts on “Rituals and recovery

  1. Trisha I think you are doing very good ( I actually wanted to write “fantastic” but thought I might irritate you with my happy-puppy optimism, although I truly feel that what you are doing is …fantastic:) )

    I love Spanish too! Have been studying it on and off for ages :))

    Anyway, wish you good luck and lots of power!

    • Hey Freedonm,

      Thank you, and you needn’t worry about me getting irritated by your happy puppy optimism

      I am feeling much better. I must admit that some days I am struggling with the Spanish but I do really enjoy it…Think it’s awesome that you have been studying it too.

      Thanks for the wishes…and good luck with your journey too…it seems that you are also progressing in leaps and bounds.

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