Finding the Win

Warning: Long and rambling blog-post ahead 🙂

Sometimes, it’s difficult to find triumph and celebrate success. It just feels like everything is against you and you are destined to fail (or maybe, that is just me…for the sake of my sanity, please don’t disillusion me).

Today started off feeling like one of those days, of course, on reflection I think today started off with a hangover from yesterday where I managed to work myself into a foul mood…big monthly shops do not do wonders for my zen and there was an idiot on the other side of the road which made it a tad more stressful when we were driving along the side of the road which was badly damaged last November with the landslides…but anyway.

This morning, when I began with my Spanish lesson I was not managing…and it was tempting to give up and give into the label “never sees anything through”, but I flipped a switch.

I am a freelancer which gives me a level of freedom about how my day is structured…and after breakfast I currently do some housework and do a Spanish lesson at the same time. It makes it easier to focus on the Spanish lesson because I do not run off to do other tasks…and housework is much less boring.

But anyway, I digress, so today my Spanish lesson was not going well… I was messing up the most simple sentences and completely mispronouncing words and generally having a bit of a disaster.

But instead of giving up…I kept at it. I did that same lesson about 4 times and I nailed it. I had to fight hard for that win, and not only did the dishes get washed and the floors swept, the meat that we bought yesterday was repacked and I started washing the kitchen walls and dusting the ceiling.

And after all of this had been done I found myself thinking about how I managed to fight for the win…and I got the win. A small triumph…in the grand scheme of things one Spanish lesson is inconsequential…but, it was a badly needed win.

But the fact that I needed the win so badly, I think, is what gave me the strength to fight for it.


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