I wonder sometimes, how much of who I am and what I do is a function of the labels that have been assigned to me.
One of my few memories from childhood that was not suppressed was being told that I should become a lawyer…and so, I did.
And I wonder why?
I know that I have the skillset…but it is not actually a difficult profession…not any more so, than any other problem-solving profession.
And how many of my subsequent actions that I undertake are to defy those labels.
I also find it interesting, the way that the labels that influence me are not only positive labels…of being bookish, intense, brooding, obstinate, stubborn, impossible…but also the implied labels.
There was always an unwritten rule that I could not be good at or encroach on anything that my sister was…And I do not actually resent her for the role that she was assigned to play in our family dynamic.
She was assigned the role of the perfect child who could do no wrong, and myself the one that was rebellious and the source of all of my mother’s problems…and that if I could just get it together…could fix everything.
The other label was brick…you are strong…you can handle everyone leaning on you when things are falling to pieces…and so it is your duty to your family to remain strong.
It’s ironic…when I start deconstructing myself from my labels…I have no idea who I am…and I guess that is actually a huge gift and opportunity.
It presents me with the gift of choosing what labels I would like to apply to myself? A blank slate…A completely empty page where I can choose whatever life story I want to write.